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sometimes i think about the people i know who never let up on the insta-posting of their going out to eat through the whole pandemic so far even last summer and im like. its so interesting how many different kinds of brains their are in the world

Choosing a photo to send to a group chat and avoiding accidentally selecting a dick pic is prolly what landmines are like in war

BTW: these things are mini nukes, the red ones roasted my lips for a day lol

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Lol jk, I can only grow low maintenance plants sorry if you wanted to wife me up.

I’m bout to fucking grow weed next can u imagine yo weed lmfao

One thing I learned about pumpkin plants is that your hands stink after you touch them. Weird ass smell

my pumpkin patch! it’s even sprouting flowers in this mf. so far two baby pumpkins and there’s one more about to sprout 🤞🏻

*hits blunt*

what if like *coughs* target and walmart control the fashion industry with the *coughs loudly* clothes they put on display in the front *hacking*

Jeff bezos gets his head stuck in a washing machine (a guillotine is a type of washing machine, right?)

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