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i shit you the fuck not if the queen has actually died right now it is during me dilating

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i think rachel posts are like the only time i ever see tesse capitalized lol english teachers

i've had a few conversations of this style, where it's clear a partner savours your presence, but because of how different it is to what is socially expected, feels the need to clarify their deal.

maybe you don't like or experience physical/romantic/whatever intimacy. if you like hanging around me and we're a thing, then we're a thing. if you love me in a way that makes sense to you, then you love me.

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finished 'accept my fist of love.' it's nice to see a story told by someone who can depict asexuality (perhaps a grey aromantic aspect too) as the normal thing it is. Especially without pretending the partner who has intimate interests is feeling or being 'let down,' or whatever bullshit you wanna pluck out of cis-het-dom



me, opening very easily visible nsfw content on a crowded train:




when i preface something with 'you may not know this,' i'm not saying 'you might not know this' i literally mean 'you may not know this' as in you're not allowed to know this and should not.

so for instance if i say 'you may not know this, but i am very sleepy,' you must expel this knowledge from you mind immediately

and he swindled you how many times, you say? thrice? the nerve. the very nerve

dating profile for a shoe

name: shoe

location: foot

hobbies: being worn

hopes and dreams: being worn more

looking for: shoe of OPPOSITE FOOT ONLY. no velcro

theme i am seeing a lot in my new ventures into manga: 28 years old and never heard of sex

i keep being told im not allowed to play chess with things in my ass yet here we are

nice try 'scientist,' but numbers don't equal shapes unless you arrange them so they look like the shape

for instance, this is a line 4444444

im going to take horse fucker thicc to the dmv and make xer think i want to be there and i just love being in line

im gonna take horse fucker thicc to one of those rooms full of trampolines and just sit on the waiting chairs while xe bounces

i'm going to take horse fucker thicc bowling and promise to put the bumpers up for xer and then not do it

when are they going to make porn for people who hate me exclusively


you: right there in the hall of the king? in the seating areas of this fine dining establishment?

me: the very same

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