james cheese @jamescheese@monads.online

manual transmission is low-key cucked. you're literally letting another man tell you what gear youre in!

@jamescheese why does that say UK in the ui

time for some anti italian bigotry

chill hop music to get dirty deeds done to

in a thic italian accent: BASTARDO

ec no selfie (i am making eye contact at you from here, but there is no picture of it attached)

It's not 'generational wealth'. I had to undertake a gruelling quest to lift the curse on my parents' vast estate like everyone else.

@bees
1st base: kissing
2nd base: french kissing
3rd base: chefs kissing
Pizza base: mama-mia ing.

<---- #ITALIANSEXMOVES

idk who needs this but all Apple accessories like cables and wall adapters have a 1 year warranty and if you set up the replacement over the phone we’re not allowed to ask for a receipt to confirm it’s within the 1 year period, we just take you at your word.

some facts about frogs that were just revealed to me in a dream

• they can't actually breath underwater
• but when they eat things they can take their oxygen and not need to breathe for awhile
• a frog's heart has a separate consciousness from it's brain

@grant just seen someone’s piss that told me my bones will turn evil after i die. feeling upset

@pisscotheque looking for auguries in the pee leaves

toilet omen

The color of your piss tells you how hydrated you are, the color of your shit tells you how well fed you are.

king shit

our ideas of what bicycles looked like when they roamed the earth are based on an outdated understanding of their skeletons… when they were alive they were probably mostly feathers and meat