me in an old folks home: the salad dressing guy fucks the salad
my family: thats nice dear
@dankwraith if i ever end up with family generations after me they're going to hear some WILD shit when i go senile
@dankwraith me in a wheelchair: and then the vampire asked if it would be fucked up if monkeys had ears, so funny
grandchild: okay goblin
@dankwraith newmans own salad dressing is just paul newmans cum
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