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the prevalence of memes about men holding on to a single compliment they received for 5 years has me feeling a certain kind of way

one thing that we lose sight of in the discourse of how terrible men are is that the experience of being a man generally completely fucking sucks. does it excuse the nonstop horrifically bad behavior across the board? no. but i think it can explain some of it

@dankwraith Agreed.

Those problems are *caused* by the patriarchy itself... but like... it sucks.

We need to change the idea that you can't compliment or else "ur gay"

Because guys deserve complements too. When they've earned them. Which they have more often than they think.

@dankwraith what's fucked up is men literally torture each other. like you don't have to do that man, you know you can just hug

@pizza @dankwraith

Watching all Dorian Electra music videos is required study for men to interact with each other

@dankwraith the joke question “why are men like this?” isn’t actually rhetorical, and the answers aren’t particularly funny

@dankwraith that's something I don't get about a lot of men's right activists, they're always like "it sucks to be a man, women have it so easy, men die sooner and suffer more and are less happy" but they always react poorly when someone points out the underlying assumptions that force men into that misery

@jimpjorps yeah they look at the problems causes by hegemonic patriarchy and decide the problem is we arent patriarchal *enough*

@dankwraith and I think that kind of circles back around to the original point, that they just want someone to acknowledge how they feel but they have no idea how to actually reach out and make that connection with someone else, so it just festers into undirected anger and resentment

@dankwraith @jimpjorps it's intuitive, and false, that the purpose of hierarchy is to bring greater benefits to those who are higher. internalize this understanding and a cycle of futile discourse between people who want resist any perceived inversion of the hierarchy, and people who, based on this resistance, get the idea that inverting the hierarchy is a good goal

@dankwraith Oh I have so many thoughts on this.kind of thing I have struggled to word correctly. Because any man struggle has usually been weaponised against others rather than a "And it fucking sucks" way.

@dankwraith Like, I feel like the patriachy does view men as disposable. It's kinda warped masculinity into being whatever benefits capitalism. Eg, not showing emotions, don't take paternity leave and just get straight back into work. It's grim.

@dankwraith it seems like a huge portion of the male experience is "never have feelings or get closer to anyone except your romantic partner even then gotta be all tuff" and it seems really alienating and lonely

@dankwraith patriarchy isn't rule by men, it's rule by *fathers*, who care very little about what happens to most of their sons

@dankwraith Huh. Its kind of like when you tell people again and again they're norhing but terrible unrepentant horndogs they might actually believe it and act like it, eh?

Or maybe I'm over simplifying it.

Ofc there is also hundreds of years of glorification of (cis) male violence and (cis) male dominance.

@dankwraith it's sad as hell. I'm vhappy that my partner and his friends all say how much they love each other and how great they are like almost everyday cause patriarchy really teaches us that men don't need emotional support...bad times

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