i'm gonna say this in the gentlest way possible: i think a lot of you need to learn to shut the hell up for a second, especially when a marginalized person is telling you what they think about something. it's exhausting to watch people step on rakes over and over on here especially when it comes to issues of race

a lot of us on here are some flavor of LGBTQ+. how would you feel if a cis person jumped into your mentions to deny your experience, or made posts dismissing your concerns as trivial? but thats exactly what i see people doing over and over on here to POC. please learn some respect

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if we want this to be a place that is as welcoming to POC as it is to people who arent straight and cis, then as white people we are going to have to deal with being criticized and made uncomfortable. it's the absolute fucking least we can do

@dankwraith Learning to shut up has definitely improved my experience here. Would recommend.

@dankwraith Going to second this with a very general point: If you can see that saying "ugh the cishets are at it again" is venting for sanity, and not literally a statement that you believe every cis hetero person in existence is personally being a shitter, then please extend the same courtesy when someone says something that isn't necessarily perfectly "nice" about white people. This shit about civility flares up fucking constantly. If the same were true about queer issues, you'd pitch a fit.

@dankwraith If anyone here doesn't believe me, especially as a white person, then you can use that logic and civility to conduct a little science experiment. Make a big, prominent post about queer issues. Note the responses, positive and negative. Then, make a big, prominent post about POC issues, indigenous issues, racial issues, etc. Note the responses, positive and negative.

I mean it, I think you should try this. Try being on the receiving end for real, for five minutes. Just try.

@Colophonscrawl @dankwraith They/we won't be on the receiving end. White people largely won't get those negative responses. I've seen it repeatedly, here and elsewhere. I can talk about racism and PoC issues and not get a single negative comment. On here, I don't even get people disagreeing with me.

It's part and parcel of the whole problem. Civility is extended to white people but denied to PoC.

@jessmahler @dankwraith Oh I'm not remotely suggesting that white people will ever get flak the way POC do, I just want them to get experience.

I speak from personal experience. I made a couple posts about the shit that the local tribe (Duwamish) continue to put up with, and pretty soon I was accused of ableism for it. Why? Because it came in the wake of yet another one of the endless series of calls for CWs/civility/etc.

I've never been accused of ableism for making a post about queer issues.

@Colophonscrawl @dankwraith Might be we're in different corners of the fediverse, but what I'm saying is I don't get *any* flak on here talking about racism or PoC issues. On quora or twitter or whatever, sure. On fedi, nothing.

That said, I really don't talk about indigenous issues bc I don't know enough. I try to follow folks who do and boost them, but keep my own mouth shut rather than put my foot in it.

@jessmahler @dankwraith White people can learn a lot from trying, even for just a moment, to empathize not from a hypothetical scenario, but from really running up against it by posting something that pets other whites' privilege the wrong way.

You're right, white people *won't* receive the same amount of flak as any nonwhite person does for posting this (a good reason in its own right to do so). Still, it's healthy for them to try one tiny sample, if possible, of the other side of privilege.

Xkcd joke, /s 

@starwall @dankwraith I'm gonna put 10 more points into shutting up today and then I'll train con

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