I'll suck ALL your dicks right now. go ahead, push 'em together like a little sandwich


[crying in the boy's locker room]

*gently* hey man...

[crying stops]

*sternly* don't you dare look at our butts.


"We would like to formally invite you..."

"I'm in."

"What? But you didn't even hear our pitch yet."

"Did your pitch involve buying me a $57 lunch?"

"You remember Trisha?"

"Not really."

"Really? *gasp* We talked, you pooped — I thought we had a connection."

"Cool... Well, I don't wanna be rude, but that story was very long and much more involved than I thought it would be, and I have had to poop through most of it."

"If I didn't have Splash Mountain coming out of my ass I'd rip your fucking head off"

"You guys don't even know. I've had sex with, like, twelve or two women. I could go have sex with a woman right now!"

"Besides, EVERY guy in school wants to have sex with me."

"Every guy in school wants to have sex with ME."

"I find that hard to believe."

"So do they!"

"And then you dumped me for a 29-year-old after graduation."

"Ohhh, Blake! You look so good!"

"Nnno I don't."

"God dammit."

"... and you're not 21."

"God dammit!"

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