remember The Most Popular Girls in School
who the fuck said my handjobs are second-rate
I'll suck ALL your dicks right now. go ahead, push 'em together like a little sandwich
[crying in the boy's locker room]
*gently* hey man...
*sternly* don't you dare look at our butts.
[CRYING BUT LOUDER]
"We would like to formally invite you..."
"What? But you didn't even hear our pitch yet."
"Did your pitch involve buying me a $57 lunch?"
"You remember Trisha?"
"Really? *gasp* We talked, you pooped — I thought we had a connection."
"Cool... Well, I don't wanna be rude, but that story was very long and much more involved than I thought it would be, and I have had to poop through most of it."
"If I didn't have Splash Mountain coming out of my ass I'd rip your fucking head off"
"You guys don't even know. I've had sex with, like, twelve or two women. I could go have sex with a woman right now!"
"Besides, EVERY guy in school wants to have sex with me."
"Every guy in school wants to have sex with ME."
"I find that hard to believe."
"So do they!"
"And then you dumped me for a 29-year-old after graduation."
"Ohhh, Blake! You look so good!"
"Nnno I don't."
"... and you're not 21."
@byttyrs i WANT. to POOP here.
@soft "there's also a girl named Deandra who has pooping privileges here."
"she will be safe"
@byttyrs pan flute
@byttyrs "Push 'em together like a little sandwich" jet-zoomed right into the long-term memory
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