Melissa is fake Italian, she doesn't even have a Blue Lives Matter themed Punisher bumper sticker on the fender of her SUV.

Melissa doesn't even say things like, "The cops have a really hard job"


Melissa is fake Italian because xe's never asked me to join xer at the Columbus Day parade

Melissa has never asked me for directions to the 9/11 Memorial while wearing an American flag t-shirt. Fake.

Melissa did get a stern talking-to for trying to take a pizza slice into a Staten Island Yankees game once (+50 Italian points).

But! This was undercut by them refusing to stand for the national anthem and trashtalking numetal and Eminem throughout the game.

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