I was told by cis people I was "too feminine" the minute I came out as trans, standing in front of them with short hair and a binder. Up until I came out, I was always not feminine enough or called outright boyish and manly.

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The goalposts are whatever they think can hurt you. If you're not out, you're not enough like your gender assigned at birth. If you say "I'm trans," all of a sudden you are too much like your gender assigned at birth.

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