I was told by cis people I was "too feminine" the minute I came out as trans, standing in front of them with short hair and a binder. Up until I came out, I was always not feminine enough or called outright boyish and manly.
The goalposts are whatever they think can hurt you. If you're not out, you're not enough like your gender assigned at birth. If you say "I'm trans," all of a sudden you are too much like your gender assigned at birth.