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i still can't believe i stacked five cans on nunpa's head that one time

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hearing reports from senator schumer's office that the "stop all the fucked up shit" act cannot go through congress because it is not being permitted by the official united states nasty lad

Cephalloplasty. It's where they graft an octopus onto your dick

one thing i dislike about the lord of the rings is all the time spent describing landscapes and having long conversations about language and history. i wish it had more scenes about committing genocide against the racialised other

lofi beats to scuttle around in the swamp to

Since April, Antarctica has had an incredibly cool flag. It's called the True South flag and its meant to create a greater sense of community among the researchers and workers who call the continent home for parts of the year. It is in wide use across the continent!

@ItsMorgan @bees hi this is the customer service department of cuttle entertainment fish services llc letting you know that i have bookmarked this post

My wife booked flights to come see me I can't wait 😍

today i have been called "incredibly, inspiringly gay" as well as "our girlfriend"

things are going great

🛑✋STOP✋🛑

We regret to inform you that this account is no longer taking "L"'s

Only giving them

begposting :boost_ok: 

please boost :boost_ok: :boost_ok: :boost_ok:

so @penelope finally did get a job but we're coming up a little short right now because her first full paycheck isn't until next week and I had to use basically all of mine to pay a bill, so we could definitely use some help to make it until Thursday ❤️

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kysten sinema voice I'm not like other girls, I'm worse

Shoutout to the Safeway pharmacist who is a stand-up guy

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Got my flu shot and the pharmacist was confused about how he knew me since I wasn't in their system. Sorry, sir, you just know me because my gf who also has pink hair comes to pick up her prescriptions from you

anyway i texted @alas this morning that her wife bought me breakfast, which while technically true is perhaps not the most respectful i could be of gricean maxims

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my hobby is describing mundane events in the most salacious terms possible to make myself sound fun and slutty instead of reasonably sociable in the context of today's times

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