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All I want out of mastodon is to record my dreams and hang out with gays and communists

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I like dreams because I find the missing time aspect of sleep to be particularly brutal

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Oh yeah! I almost forgot, but when the doc that diagnosed me with Huge Bladder came around and put the ultrasound on my writhing belly, it popped up on the screen and there was just this VOID like my entire torso was empty πŸ˜±β€‹πŸ€˜β€‹

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right now I make bad covers for bad sci fi anthologies but my dream is to one day make mediocre art for my own reasons

when will they make a brassiere for the round-shouldered bitch

my mom: stickers? I can't believe you would give your child stickers. you're never gonna get those off of your home surfaces.
also my mom: can I give her a sharpie

pop songs mention pineapple juice a lot these days

it wasn't so long ago that I had no self image at all. Looking at mirrors and other people and going "I wonder if that looks like me"

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visited the nursery my kid is going to start going to and the staff and kids were all like "oh she looks just like (other kid) and you look just like (yet another kid's mom)" and I'm so curious about that

goodreads is doing a lot to convince me that the majority of americans are functionally illiterate, sure they know the alphabet and pronunciation but when it comes to actually grasping the ideas books argue we fall very very short.

students at [redacted] university: oh woe oh woe, our university is Afflicted with enormous riches, what a terrible Shame that the poor townspeople do not have any, they are Starving outside our walls! Woe!

poor townspeople: would you like to help us with the work we are doing to make sure people do not starve!

students at [redacted] university: no

I find this dream I had very relatable. wanting to hang with the cool kids but inadvertently working for the slime cultists

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white people are dumb as hell, they should be silent more

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Dreamt I was queueing in the thieves guild canteen to try and pick up all their low-level quests and get access to the fancy upstairs area with all the signature characters; but I clicked on a slime cultist crawling out of the building and accidentally took their quest, which even the thieves guild wouldn't touch

Dreamt I was lured to a haunted house where people were replaced by doubles from the spirit world, the land of the dead

toddler missed her nap today but later she became a dentist (stuck a sticker on her chest and proclaimed "I'm dentist") so that was okay

It's predictive as long as you have a solid understanding of what someone thinks of as fat [successful] and who is proximate to them

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my overarching ideology which explains everything is Fat Bird Theory, which says that roosting birds in their flocks wake up and surreptitiously check around themselves for their fattest neighbour, and then they follow that guy to see where they are feeding

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