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confiscating mika's brain to study in a lab in order to learn how someone can both notice and retain so little information

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@RussellsBarbershopQuartet it’s amazing because I’m incredibly observant of little things, but only little things

@FirstProgenitor mika, about to get hit by a truck that's blaring its horn at him: oh hey the white on that license plate is the same color as alphinaud's hair

ff14 spoilers 

@RussellsBarbershopQuartet this is how I notice that one elf isn’t Estinien because of the eyes but am not observant enough to realize it’s Zenos

ff14 spoilers 

@FirstProgenitor @RussellsBarbershopQuartet the Mika flowchart:

See Elf -> Is Boyfriend, Y/N

If Y: Nice

If N: Resume bf search

ff14 spoilers 

@FirstProgenitor @RussellsBarbershopQuartet "but Swiff what if the elf is one of the twins"

Easy, they're both shorties and adult elezen have like a full meter on then, while scanning the crowd this flow chart would never even prompt Mika to look low enough to spot them

@FirstProgenitor people throw around the term "disaster gay" a lot Mika but I want you to know that you are, genuinely, the biggest disaster of a human being it has ever been my misfortune to know

@FirstProgenitor the idea that, in comparison to other people you know, you're one of the more functional ones, is something that fills me with despair

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