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@Nicolas_Maduro you should also be aware that with the expanded Free Trial, new players can journey through the entirety of A Realm Reborn and the award-winning Heavensward expansion up to level 60 for FREE with no restriction on playtime, so no pressure if you don't play the game yet

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biological sex? haven't had that in a while because of quarantine

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friendly reminder that if you report me, a jew, for antisemitism, your instance will implode

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lewd math joke 

I'm here to suck the dick of everyone who does not suck their own dick themselves. do I suck my own dick?

kid in fifth grade on "roman day" when we all wore togas and shit: oh wow you went all out, you're wearing lipstick huh

me: what

them: you know, it's cool, the romans wore makeup and stuff

me, rubbing my lips raw on a paper towel: look my lips just look like this okay

them: no like really, it's fine that you're wearing lipstick. literally no one is judging today, it's roman day


them: what

me: what

i have to be invited into homes otherwise i cant enter. im not a vampire though i just have anxiety

me: oh cool a well
the well: hey
me: oh god my nightmare s

I had a dream I was at a game store and they had boxed copies of Pokémon HeartGold and SoulSilver including brand new Pokéwalkers

I want to live in whatever utopia dream me was living in

computer building adventures 

like I've zoomed in on this socket and like. look how a couple of the individual connectors here aren't shining back. that's probably not good, right

(the discoloration along the bottom is just alcohol that hasn't dried yet, ftr)

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computer building adventures 

new cpu fresh from the factory: gotten

POST: failed yet again

CPU socket: freshly scrubbed with rubbing alcohol

the emotion I feel, waiting for the alcohol to dry so I can try again, as I consider whether it's possible if not probable that the defective CPU might have somehow damaged the socket and therefore I'd need to get a full motherboard replacement: dread

its october 2021 and eizouken is still probably my single favourite anime

Lying on a carpeted floor inside a sleeping bag, reaching out awkwardly with chopsticks to eat sushi from a plastic takeout container.

im mad that all the playable characters in ffxiv are just humans with different flavors of ears. let me play as a bangaa, you cowards

website made by someone who describes themself as "a dipshit who doesn't know how to use computers" and hosted on a raspberry pi or some random VPS: loads instantly, well designed, easy to navigate

website made by fortune 500 company, with teams of designers, programmers, and servers in 8 countries: takes a full minute to load, layout shifting around the whole time, breaks if you have 1 browser add-on, the page you want can only be accessed via a third party search engine, gets worse every year

if Joseph ever makes a lewd alt and doesnt call it Hoeseph Im going to flip a table

in life, you were a Pharaoh. your people worshipped you as a god. you watched your sons grow into great men themselves, and you felt secure that your eldest would rule justly and lead your people to prosperity, just as you had. your last memory was of being taken on a tour in a palanquin, gilded and resplendent, to see the completion of your own tomb. it would be your resting place for thousands upon thousands of years, long after history has forgotten your name and the names of your great-great-grandsons. until, in the early years of the twentieth century, your tomb is plundered, your corpse looted and ground into fine powder.

the very last thing that ever happens to you is that Lord Diddlywick snorts what remains of you in the hopes you'll ease his erectile dysfunction.

@JohnBrownJr @RussellsBarbershopQuartet splicing her cells with that contagious face cancer that Tasmanian devils have so that she can live on forever in the subcutaneous tissues of her devoted subjects

If you liberal arts majors are going to insist that Bigfoot can't teleport, well what do you think quantum tunneling is?? Why can't Bigfoot do it if subatomic particles can???

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