my self driving car just announced that my freeway exit is premium drm content that requires a software update, and it is waiting for wifi. i tried to play a cd i burned and the car gave me a copyright strike and replaced it with royalty-free elevator music. every time i want to check the speedometer i have to watch a commercial for liberty mutual. i'm eating cheetos from the racetrac and now the fingerprint reader doesn't recognize my input so the car has put me in guest user mode, adjusting the side mirrors and seat for a much shorter person. it keeps driving away in the middle of the night and coming back with lipstick stains on its side mirror

@PhoebeWallerPalladino @Thomas what is happening here? If they didn't want me to eat in my car they wouldn't give me food in a drivethru

@phillyis @PhoebeWallerPalladino yes but I don't want to be near other people, you see. If I'm on a road trip or whatever I go inside

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