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half of being 'smooth' is just wearing out your social anxiety response to making a really stupid pass at someone

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I have been rejected and/or made really poorly thought-out attempts to hit on somebody so many times that I can regularly think to myself "I think someone I know thinks I was trying to cheat on my partner with him, but we were broken up at the time, but I'm not sure if I'm ever going to be able to clear that up with him" without pain

I used to have really bad social anxiety ESPECIALLY where flirting was concerned and uhh what can I say except I did some half-assed self-guided exposure therapy about it and it basically worked out okay

you don't even have to be smooth to flirt successfully, though, is the thing. being awkward works just as well sometimes

I just straight don't give a shit anymore if I misstep socially. it's like drawing. the key to getting good at drawing is to push past that "god my drawing is so awful I'm in misery just looking at this ugly piece of shit" thing, keep drawing, and eventually you're like "this drawing isn't great but I'm okay with it"

@wxcafe no, but if you say something really stupid but your face is blessed with total composure, the other person might just decide you were being funny on purpose, whereas if you wince they'll definitely know

and if you say something really stupid and they still know you didn't mean it to sound so dumb, BUT you maintain composure and seem to not be in agony, they'll admire your unflappability

@wxcafe aware is good, harsh judgment is bad. just keep in mind that the awkward silly things you do are cute and endearing, and besides you're human and humans err, it's not the end of the world

@Manurweibling well. I guess. though, gotta have some awareness of the expected behavior at least for that to work, but yeah

@Manurweibling I have been learning this in the last couple days

@Manurweibling ive always said that my debilitating social anxiety is my greatest asset

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