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other people can come up with simple, "obvious" solutions to your problems for the same reason it takes months to years of training to learn how to juggle six objects and no training whatsoever for a bystander to grab the blue one

being the one with the problem and being the listener and advice-giver are asymmetric roles. it's always simpler and less work to give advice.

you're not stupid for not seeing the way to solve your problems, you're just the juggler. keeping the balls in the air is your job, and it is very difficult and demands most of your attention. a friendly listener can point out easy solutions *because* they don't have to keep the balls in the air — they just have to spot the blue ball and grab it for you.

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