my favorite thing about guppy is that he’ll lead you to his cat tree, hop up in front of his food and then look at you until you pet him. only after you pet him will he eat.

part of me wants another cat but i also don't want guppy to feel displaced and edgar to feel like he's ganged up against by the cat squad

it's good to have one pug and one cat... so what if i had one pug and TWO cats?..

@Em bringing this before the myasstodon council for your show trial

We are the Impractical Jokers. There is no prank we do not answer, there is no command from a hidden microphone that we betray.

i know fajitas doesn’t usually have cheese on them but no one is gonna take away my tillamook medium cheddar okay

the choice to adapt dune as a half hour sitcom about a fantasy football league was interesting but surprisingly a lot of it survived the translation. can’t wait for Paul to hand the harkonnens the sackler

i just took part of an asvab practice test and you can really tell that the military is targeting kids cause i haven’t thought about any of the subjects covered in it since high school

all guppy wants is for you to throw the little bit of plastic he found around so he can fetch it

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