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It is your constant desperation to be one of the good ones that leaves open the door to being one of the bad ones

This is not me saying "oh well if you get rid of good things and everything is bad then nothing is bad because it's all equal," no. Not my point. I mean quite seriously that if your goal is to be "a good one," you are going to act on that goal rather than dropping the pretense of trying to relate to others as a game you are going to win or lose. It's not purely that you therefore treat members of that group as a hivemind, although that is pretty much guaranteed, it's that the framing of relating to others as a function of your worth or ethical points is fucked up from the start.

If each time you interact with a member of a group you are not in, you relate to them as if it is a pass/fail test that they are administering to you, you will, I assure you, never be "one of the good ones." You need to both not be fucked up to them, and you need to untense, you need to let go of this game you're playing, because it is only hurting you, it's not actually improving your behavior.

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