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I guess yuo could say my wife amd I have a "decentralized relationship".. .

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[Me, on OKCupid]: "hey ,cutie how long u lived in NY?"

[LadyLiberty69]: "I've been in the harbor since 1885..."

[Me]: "O cool, you've got really big feet lol, great for crushimg..."

[LadyLiberty]: *no response*

[Me, 2 days later]: "OH TOO GOOD TO REAPOND UR NOT EVEN HOT U BIG GREEN BITCJ UR COVERED IN PATINA!!"

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Dogs on the other hand are very real. And they know exactly wtf is going on

When their slit eyes narrow that's just a deepstate agent focusing the camera aperture to take case photos for their handler

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Cats aren't real. Just deepstate animatronics that spy on yuo

Putting each one of my fingers in a vice and yanking hard and fast to make them long and Jimi Hendrix like rather than manlet sized

edward family-size-bags-of-reeses-hands

Yuo actually don't have to clean your phone as long as you pee on it now and tben. Completely sterile

In all honesty this is probably the only thing that'll turn working class chuds against cops and the justice system

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BNSF wants a federal judge to block 17,000 employees from striking, arguing it will “harm the economy.” This is, put simply, is massive newsweek.com/railroad-argues-p

Smallest population growth in America in over 100 years. I'm sure this bodes well for social reproduction and what impact labor participation whatsoever

Alright I'm done with this reality
Time to go ass to ass with @Catsandcatsandcats , so our massive dumptrucks wobble at the resonant frequency of the universe, starting a new big bang where hopefully this covid shit doesn't happen in another 3 trillion years

covid flees from my pussy. it's like the shields in nge

Mf'ers really be on Craigslist trying to sell their non-vintage, used guitars for the brand new retail cost

supreme court 

I hate that Sotomayor (maybe the only human being on the court) has to say "oh we're all good, good friends here" in response to the story about Gorsuch not masking

It's integral to the kayfabe of the SC that we believe they are all just smart, professional people who are just calling constitutional balls and strikes and not naked ideologues enforcing their beliefs undemocratically

Imagine Mao giving yuo a tiddy twister.. .terrifying to thimk about

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