human pet guy update 

the human pet guy spent most of the last month loudly insisting that not only was Rome made entirely out of marble and was perfectly clean all the time, but that most roman citizens lived inside smaller versions of the colosseum. That was what all their houses looked like. My brain is exploding from the sheer weight of knowledge as we speak.

and with that i have exhausted all my capacity to acknowledge his continuing existence. I'll check back with him in another month or so, either to see what he's been posting about or to track him down and mercilessly slay him like he so desperately deserves. I haven't decided yet.

all i'm saying is if you ever hear that human pet guy has mysteriously disappeared from the internet one day, ask me no questions about it and i'll tell you no lies

human pet guy update 

i regret to inform you all that the human pet guy thinks that radiation sickness is good, actually

human pet guy update 

literally not even gonna touch the fucking "My Lai was a bit out of hand, just too enthusiastic" thing because i only have so much blood in my body to spew boiling hot from my eyeballs

human pet guy update 

I feel like this is both deeply revealing about him and also some of the most compelling evidence that he can't be a troll because imagine pretending to be this guy for 8 years

human pet guy update 

For those of you who don't want to go and check yourself - and I 100% don't blame you for it - following human pet guy is completely impossible if you want to keep your timeline at all parsable because he is retweeting porn virtually nonstop

human pet guy update 

In fairness this is probably the least surprising thing I've learned about him

human pet guy update 

I promise you the context does not make this better

human pet guy origin story 

Btw if anyone reading this thread is wondering "hey delta, who is this human pet guy anyway and why is he called that?", first of all I'm so so sorry and second, I covered his first big hit and a few other classics in my thread over here: monads.online/@ArachnoCommunis

human pet guy on femboys 

i hear you've all been asking for this

human pet guy 

he says this every single time people screenshot dunk him and every single time the context makes it so much worse

human pet guy, racist fetishism 

The most disturbing thing about these posts is that human pet guy managed to find a job

human pet guy update 

never has there been a more damning indictment of british higher education

human pet guy update 

@ArachnoCommunist by which of course I mean star wars is real, but only the Christmas special

human pet guy update 

@ArachnoCommunist@monads.online i wonder what he thinks of the Great Disney Retcon prior to ep 7

human pet guy update 

@ArachnoCommunist i am simply unable to believe that a human person actually believes this, and must therefore believe that a human person spends all their time doing this as a bit, which is not better

human pet guy update 

@parenthetical if it helps, as fedi's foremost human pet guy scholar it is my uncompromising position that it is not a bit

human pet guy update 

@ArachnoCommunist i know but i just cannot imagine a person who sincerely thinks cartoons is real life. perhaps i am too narrow minded but it is beyond me.

human pet guy update 

@ArachnoCommunist lmfaoooooooooooooo

an engineer! of course he's an engineer! engineers think they know everything about literally every topic on the face of the earth and nothing will ever dissuade them otherwise.

This explains so fucking much.

@ArachnoCommunist i've been strengthening my willpower along with my bros on r/nofap

human pet guy update 

@ArachnoCommunist this guy is such a fucking engineer

human pet guy update 

@ArachnoCommunist this is a bit, right? He can't be serious.

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